confusion!!!

i slept with 'g' again last night! was pretty good but still no orgasm. no surprise there at all really. i think if i sleep with him a few more times i will feel more comfortable with him! like i do with 's' but then i have known 's' for about 3 years and the type of person he is, it is very hard to embarress yourself. although i did nearly die from embarressment when i was sleeping with him a few months ago and didnt realise that i had came on my period, and coverd his brand new sheets in my oh so red blood! also covering his body and cock in it! i was so embarressed i quickly put his sheets in the wash and got a bowl of soapy water to clean his bed, while he sat in the front room laughing his head off.
other embarressing sex stories? well when unwanted air goes inside me and then decides to release its self mid sex making a huge noise, is extreemly embarresing! but i think every girl has experienced this?
anyway back to feeling comfortable with men, which i do not apart from with 's'. i find my self being extreemly dirty in the bedroom when with him. like last week for example i was at home and horny so gave him a text and went round there. as soon as he opened the door i pushed him up against the wall and started to kiss him! then dragged him upstairs and pushed him on the bed. stripping him and my self of all clothes. sucking him and letting him watch me and me looking at him! which i never do! i also told him to come all over me which he loved and did! but i dont normaly do that kind of thing, except with him, which is strange. i wish i could feel this way with 'g' or anyone as i may be able to reach climax then, as i know for a fact i never would with 's' as his cock is basicaly non existant, which gets to the question why the fuck do i keep going back? i really am not to sure on the answer for this. i thought it was love but its not. i mean i do love him but only as a friend and i do fancy the pants off him! i only thought i loved him when me and my ex split up so it was rebound! i think it might be that i feel so comfortable with him!! hmm?#
anyway about 'g'. i dont know what i should do?
am i wrong to carry this on? after all he is 31 and i am only 19. my friends think its not so good, but then they no what im like so it doesnt really phase them when i tell them such things, as i say and do alot of crazy things.
hes not even that good looking, but his cock is delicous. and he has big strong arms that feel so good wraped around me. i feel so safe and happy in there.
i also do not see a future for this. so whats the point? i am young and probably on the verge of insanity. he is mature and has a straight head on him, although i do think he is boring and needs to liven up a bit. so maybe i am good for him?
well its not like i could introduce him to my dad. he would fucking go crazy. as my dad is 43 so its about the same age gap between him and my dad as there is for me and him.
oh i do apolagise for rambling on about a load of rubbish!
im going to leave it at that and hopefully my head willl be sorted in the next few days.
bye x